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My Take on Famous Quotes

 By Scott Roeben

Famous quotes are famous for a reason. They're insightful, profound and poignant. Which, of course, means they're ripe for ridicule. We've got it covered.

"A first rate soup is better than a second rate painting."
Abraham Maslow


"But just try hanging soup on a nail."
Scott Roeben

"Life is a risk."
Diane Von Furstenberg


"Then again, so is going into the bathroom after my father."
Scott Roeben

"The thing I fear most is fear."
Michel de Montaigne


"The thing I fear most is getting a milk mustache in front of the Royal Family."
Scott Roeben

"The joyfulness of a man prolongeth his days."
The Bible (Psalms)


"Viagra does the same for his nights."
Scott Roeben

"Goodness is the only investment that never fails."
Henry David Thoreau


"You've obviously never sent away for Sea Monkeys."
Scott Roeben 

"There is more to life than just existing and having a pleasant time."
J.C.F. von Schiller


"Yeah, there's always beating the crap out of people who say pretentious things like that."
Scott Roeben

"Man is the only animal that can be bored."
Erich Fromm


"He's also the only animal that trims his nose hair."
Scott Roeben

 "Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is."
German Adage


"The tub of glazed donuts doesn't help either."
Scott Roeben

"We fear the thing we want the most."
Dr. Robert Anthony


"This would explain the jitters I get around peanut M&Ms."
Scott Roeben

"Knowledge of sin is the beginning of salvation."


"Save me."
Scott Roeben

"A day is a miniature eternity."
Ralph Waldo Emerson


"I can't wait to see my next paycheck."
Scott Roeben

"If there is no wind, row."
Latin Proverb


"Who says Latin is hard to understand?"
Scott Roeben

"Love for thy neighbor if thou wouldst live for thyself."


"If thou art stupid, plagiarize or paraphrase."
Scott Roeben

"A wounded deer leaps the highest."
Emily Dickinson


"Hey, during the next Olympics, let's shoot our pole-vaulters."
Scott Roeben

"Happiness depends upon ourselves."


"That thing about hair growing on your palms is just a myth."
Scott Roeben

"Do for yourself or do without."
Gaylord Perry


"Again, just a myth."
Scott Roeben

"When a dog runs at you, whistle for him."
Henry David Thoreau


"Great philosophy. Here's another one. Always carry a tourniquet."
Scott Roeben

"Health is a blessing that money can't buy."
Izaak Walton


"V.D. is a curse which it can."
Scott Roeben

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