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Not one of the actual stolen love dolls.

MAN ACCUSED OF SWIPING BLOW-UP DOLLS
(Wisconsin, AP) - A man accused of stealing several blow-up dolls from an adult novelty store says the burglary was a "drunken, stupid thing." A criminal complaint says Jose Sandoval, 26, of DeForest, smashed through the front door at Naughty Novelties in Burke last month and stole a talking love doll with a $270 price tag, along with other dolls and items. Video surveillance tape gave investigators a look at the car outside the novelty shop, which they pulled over about 10 days later. The complaint says Sandoval denied committing the burglary, then began to cry and led detectives to an abandoned semi behind a motel where the stolen items were recovered.

NUDE MAN IN GAS-MASK AT LARGE
(Massachusetts) - Police in Massachusetts are hunting for a mysterious naked man who was seen by several witnesses wandering around town wearing nothing but a gas mask. The nakedness was first observed by a motorist who spotted the naked gas mask guy lurking in the entrance of a building in Newton, Massachusetts. When the witness pulled up in their truck, the man fled, naked, down an alley. The naked man and his gas mask were next reported when a woman heard her doorbell ring. Looking out through her door's peephole, she noticed that the person who'd rung her doorbell was naked, and wearing a gas mask. Authorities believe that it may have been the same naked gas mask-wearing guy. The gas mask-wearer is described as approximately 30 years old and six feet tall and naked. Police say no arrests of naked people wearing gas masks were made. It is not known if the naked gas mask-wearing man will is still naked, or wearing a gas mask.

DOCTOR TAKES PIC OF 'HOT ROD' PENIS
A doctor is facing disciplinary action after taking a picture of a patient's penis during surgery. A man whose penis bears the tatooed slogan "Hot Rod" says he feels violated by having its image captured by a doc with a mobile phone. Sean Dubowik, 37, was undergoing gallbladder surgery at a hospital in Phoenix, Arizona when the photo was snapped. Dr. Adam Hansen, who admitted taking the picture on his phone, faces disciplinary action. The doctor telephoned his patient later to tell him he had taken the picture, because he did not want him to read about in the newspapers first. The incident was reported by a member of surgical staff at the hospital. An investigation is underway. Dr. Hansen has been placed on administrative leave. Dubowik, who runs a topless bar called Centerfolds Cabaret, said he got the tattoo on a $1,000 bet. "I feel violated, betrayed and disgusted. I've never been in a hospital and my first experience is the worst thing ever," he said.

GRANDMOTHER SAVED BY DAUGHTER'S POO
(Scotland) - It must be one of the most stomach-churning medical treatments ever devised. A grandmother who contracted a potentially fatal superbug in Scotland has been saved after a hospital fed her daughter's feces to her. Ethel McEwan, an 83-year-old from Guardbridge, Fife, was near death after contracting Clostridium Difficile. But she was saved after receiving a "fecal transplant" from her daughter, Winnifred. The treatment involves liquidizing a sample of feces from a close relative of the patient, and feeding the liquid down a tube into the stomach. The treatment restores the bacteria to levels at which they help the recovery process. "When you tell people about the treatment, they wrinkle their noses," McEwan told the Daily Record. "But it's not like they put it on a plate and have you eat it. You don't ever see or smell a thing. "People will have a blood transplant or a kidney transplant. What's the difference with this?"

DOCTORS UNTANGLE THE STRANGE CASE OF THE GIANT HAIRBALL
(Illinois, CNN) - It may not be the most appetizing reading, but the New England Journal of Medicine is reporting a case of a giant hairball, and not the feline kind. Doctors say a 10-pound hairball was removed from a woman's stomach. The prestigious journal details the case of a previously healthy 18-year-old woman who consulted a team of gastrointestinal specialists. She complained of a five-month history of pain and swelling in her abdomen, vomiting after eating and a 40-pound weight loss. After a scan of the woman's abdomen showed a large mass, doctors lowered a scope through her esophagus. It revealed "a large bezoar occluding nearly the entire stomach," wrote Drs. Ronald M. Levy and Srinadh Komanduri, gastroenterologists at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago, Illinois. For the uninitiated, a bezoar is a ball of swallowed foreign material. "On questioning, the patient stated that she had had a habit of eating her hair for many years, a condition called trichophagia," they wrote. "It seemed like she'd been doing this for several years," Levy told CNN. The woman underwent surgery to remove the mass of black, curly hair, which weighed 10 pounds and measured 15 inches by 7 inches by 7 inches, the doctors said. Five days later, she was eating normally and was sent home. A year later, the pain and vomiting were gone, the patient had regained 20 pounds "and reports that she has stopped eating her hair."

SEX WITH A FENCE MAN WALKS FREE
(England) - A drunken West End reveller who tried to have sex with a fence has walked free from court. Daniel French, 24, of Verity Way, Stevenage, had clambered into a locked park when he made "sexual motions" towards iron railings and proclaimed to police, "I'm going to have sex with a fence." Asked at City of Westminster Magistrates' Court whether he made the bizarre comment he denied making a pass at the metalwork, saying, "That's disgusting." Philip Lemoine, prosecuting, said French had been drinking all night when he was spotted by police in Leicester Square Gardens in the early hours of Sunday morning. "The gardens were locked and police asked French to leave. He was drunk and there were some sexual motions, drunken silliness, to the railings." He said words to the effect of, "I'm going to have sex with that fence." "He was with two girls who were trying to calm things down. Police realized he was drunk. French said he had a relative who was a solicitor and would teach the police a lesson." But French, who admitted on Monday afternoon to being drunk and disorderly, said the police were bullying him. He protested to magistrates, "That's not right at all about the fence. I was surrounded by three big police officers. I felt I was being bullied and wanted to go home. They were pushing me against the fence and trying to provoke me. The suggestion that I was trying to do something sexual to the railings is disgusting." French has a previous conviction for shoplifting. Magistrates sentenced him to the time he had spent in custody since his arrest.

SLAUGHTERHOUSE LIVE: TEACHER KILLS RACCOON
(Arkansas) - A high school teacher killed a raccoon with a nail gun after discovering the planned subject of a skinning demonstration was alive. Superintendent Alvin Lievsay said a student's parent promised to bring in a raccoon for the exercise, but surprised teacher Jerick Hutchinson by bringing the animal in a live trap. Lievsay said Hutchinson, "who used to work in a slaughter house," took the animal outside to the back of his truck and shot it with the nail gun. Lievsay said no students witnessed the raccoon's death. "He used the nail gun to, as they say, to dispatch the animal," Lievsay said. "It wasn't like he held a nail gun against the head of a cute little animal in front of the class." Hutchinson used the dead raccoon to demonstrate how to skin the animal and to examine the contents of its stomach. Lievsay said only one student asked not to attend the skinning. Lievsay said officials at Huntsville High School later talked with Hutchinson and told him not to kill animals on school grounds. The superintendent said Hutchinson, one of two agriculture teachers at the school about 30 miles east of Fayetteville, also would provide more detailed lesson plans in the future. "He does a great job. The kids love him," Lievsay said.

MAN'S CHOICE TO USE SHOTGUN TO LOOSEN LUG NUT TURNS OUT BAD
(Washington, AP) - A man trying to loosen a stubborn lug nut blasted the wheel with a 12-gauge shotgun, injuring himself badly in both legs, sheriff's deputies said. The 66-year-old man had been repairing a Lincoln Continental for two weeks at his home northwest of Southworth, about 10 miles southwest of Seattle, and had gotten all but one of the lug nuts off the right rear wheel, Kitsap County Deputy Scott Wilson said. "He's bound and determined to get that lug nut off," Wilson said. From about arm's length, the man fired the shotgun at the wheel and was "peppered" in both legs with buckshot and debris, with some injuries as high as his chin, according to a sheriff's office report. "Nobody else was there, and he wasn't intoxicated," Wilson said. The man was taken to Tacoma General Hospital with injuries Wilson described as severe but not life-threatening.

MAN USES TOW TRUCK, CABLE TO KILL SELF
(Illinois) - A 54-year-old employee of a Pontiac, Illinois car repair shop apparently decapitated himself using a cable and the thrust of his tow truck. Authorities in Livingston County released few details of the death and declined to identify the man pending notification of relatives. The man's employer called the death outside the shop a suicide. The man, who had worked at S&R Route 66 Auto Center on the western edge of Pontiac for about four years, appears to have tied a cable to a sign in front of the business and the other end around his neck. Then, at about 4:30 a.m., he got inside his tow truck and popped the clutch. Jeff Semmens, the owner of S&R, said the man usually kept the tow truck at his house, but had been sick the last few days and left it at the shop. "He was a pretty good guy," Semmens said. "It really freaks me out. I can't think of why he'd want to do this." Semmens had not arrived at the shop by the time police had already found the decapitated body. When police arrived, they found the man's head in the S&R parking lot and his body inside the truck.

WHIMSICAL JUDGE DISMISSED FOR FLIPPING A COIN TO DECIDE CASE
(Virginia, AHN) - A whimsical judge was dismissed from the bench by the Virginia Supreme Court, making him only the second magistrate to be booted out of the service for judicial misconduct. It was the end of the line for Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court Judge James Michael Shull of Gate City who hogged the limelight when he decided a custody case by flipping a coin and making a mentally-disturbed litigant drop her pants in open court. "Unless our citizens can trust that judges will fairly resolve the disputes brought before our courts, and treat all litigants with dignity, our courts will lose the public's respect and confidence upon which our legal system depends," said the Virginia Supreme Court, in a decision penned by Justice Barbara Milano Keenan. Shull could have received a mere censure but the justices, noting his misbehavior in the past, meted the stiffest penalty. The judge also appeared before the Judicial Inquiry and Review Commission in 2004 for allegedly advising a woman to marry her abusive boyfriend and calling a teenager a "wuss" and a "mama's boy." The commission let him escape with just a slap on the wrist. But the commission did not let him off easy the second time around. It lodged a complaint the Supreme Court after Shull tossed a coin to determine which parent would have visitation with a child on Christmas and ordered a woman to drop her pants to see the stab wound in her leg. The woman sought a protective order against her partner. The judge admitted to both incidents but insisted that in the custody battle, he merely wanted the parents to come to an agreement. "A judge's act of tossing a coin in a courtroom to decide a legal issue pending before the court suggests that courts do not decide cases on their merits but instead subject litigants to games of chance in serious matters without regard to the evidence or applicable law," the court said.

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