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Idle Thoughts

We like our funnies short and sweet. Like a midget covered in honey. Or something. Here are a few pithy thoughts to ponder, mull over and chew on (although not necessarily in that order).

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Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
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Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.

No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe we are above average drivers.

More Thoughts to Ponder

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