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The Laws of Work

No matter what your job, or where you work, you'll find that many of these "laws," sadly, ring true.

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Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
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It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.

After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

The first 90 percent of a project takes 90 percent of the time. The last 10 percent takes the other 90 percent of the time.

If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.

A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the butt.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. It's no use being a fool about it.

Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.

Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

Never delay the end of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

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Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
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To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work they're supposed to be doing.

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Following the rules will not get the job done.

Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

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