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Truisms About Love and Sex

Love and sex are perhaps the most perplexing (and entertaining) aspects of the human condition. Here then are a few truisms to help keep things in perspective. A few more tasty sips from the Dribble Glass of Life.

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Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.
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The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

Nothing improves with age.

No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

Sex appeal is 50 percent what you've got and 50 percent what people think you've got.

Sex is like snow—you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it's going to last.

If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

Virginity can be cured.

Sex has no calories.

When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.

Sex is dirty only if it's done right.

It is always the wrong time of month.

When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.

Sow your wild oats on Saturday night. On Sunday, pray for crop failure.

The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.

It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.

There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.

Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.

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Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
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If the effort that went into research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot dog stands on the moon.

Love is a matter of chemistry. Sex is a matter of physics.

Sex is a three-letter word that needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.

One good turn gets most of the blankets.

You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Abstain from wine, women and song. Mostly song.

Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Never argue with a woman when she's tired—or rested.

A woman never forgets the men she could have had. A man, the women he couldn't.

What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.

Beauty is skin deep. Ugly goes right to the bone.

A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

Never go to bed mad—stay up and fight.

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

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