Thoughts About Dogs
We love dogs. They are loyal. They are selfless. And they remind us of how we could be if we were better than we are. But don't take our word for it!
"All knowledge, the totality of all questions and answers, is contained in the dog."
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."
"Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend."
"Children and dogs are as necessary to the welfare of the country as Wall Street and the railroads."
Harry S Truman
"Keep running after a dog and he will never bite you."
"Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?"
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of."
"Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes."
"Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative."
"In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, he gave him the dog."
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
"A watchdog is a dog kept to guard your home, usually by sleeping where a burglar would awaken the household by falling over him."
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
"Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship."
"There are three faithful friends--an old wife, an old dog and ready money."
"They say the dog is man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered?"
"In dog years, I'm dead."
"They are better than human beings, because they know but do not tell."
"The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor."
"The more I see of the depressing stature of people, the more I admire my dogs."
Alphonse de Lamartine
"The other day I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One says to the other, 'How do you like that? Pay toilets!'"
"No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich."
"I like driving around with my two dogs, especially on the freeways. I make them wear little hats so I can use the carpool lanes."
"You never realize a dog is a mans best friend until you start betting on horses."
"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."
"My neighbor has two dogs. One of them says to the other, 'Woof!' The other replies, 'Moo!' The dog is perplexed. 'Moo? Why did you say, 'Moo'?' The other dog says, 'I'm trying to learn a foreign language.'"
"The dog's kennel is not the place to keep a sausage."
"A man bitten by a dog, whether the animal is mad or not, is apt to get mad himself."
George D. Prentice
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
"A dog is the only thing on Earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
"Never judge a dog's pedigree by the kind of books he does not chew."
"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog."
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail."
"A dog is not 'almost human,' and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such."
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs."
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise."
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul--chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7 in dog money."
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
Robert A. Heinlein
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
"Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it."
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
Andrew A. Rooney
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane."
"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
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