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Dogs vs. People

You just can't beat a dog. Maybe we should rephrase that. We love dogs. In fact, the more people we meet, the more we love dogs. Here are some reasons they're so great.

Why Dogs Are Better Than Men

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Dogs understand what "no" means.
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Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.

Dogs miss you when you're gone.

You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.

Dogs understand what "no" means.

Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.

Dogs don't brag about who they've slept with.

Dogs don't criticize your friends.

Dogs admit when they're jealous.

Dogs do not play games with you—except fetch. And dogs never laugh at how you throw.

Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you're together.

Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.

You can train a dog.

Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.


A classic gag to play on your friends and family is the old fake dog poop prank. Hahaprank has you covered for all your fake poop pranks and all the stinky pranks your nose can handle.

You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.

Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous.

The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.

Dogs don't make a practice of killing members of their own species.

Dogs understand if some of their friends can't come inside.

Dogs think you are a culinary genius.

You can force a dog to take a bath.

Dogs don't correct your stories.

Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.

Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.

Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.

Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.

Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.

Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

Dogs are nice to your relatives.

Why Dogs Are Better Than Women

Dogs don't cry.

Dogs love it when your friends come over.

Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.

Dogs think you sing great.

Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.

The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.

Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

Dogs are excited when you play rough.

Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

Anyone can get a good looking dog.

If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

Dogs don't shop.

A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

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A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
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A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

Dogs never insist on talking about your relationship.

A dog's parents never visit.

Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.

Dogs don't hate their bodies.

No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

Dogs never expect gifts.

Dogs never worry about germs.

Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.

You never have to wait for a dog. They are ready to go 24 hours a day.

Dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelry.

Dogs don't borrow your shirts.

Dogs never want foot rubs.

Dogs can't talk.

Dogs seldom outlive you.

Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

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