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Bumper Stickers

There are nearly as many bumper stickers as there are cars. Thank goodness.

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
Submitted by Cassie A.

I've upped my standards, now up yours.

Everything coming your way? You're in the wrong lane.

I'd give my right hand to be ambidextrous.

Nonconformists are all alike.

Don't laugh at these fogged up windows. It's your daughter in here.

Some days it's just not worth gnawing through the leather straps.

Your proctologist called. They found your head.

I didn't go to work today. The little voices in my head told me to stay home and clean my guns.
Submitted by Chris L.

Gravity's the only thing keeping me here.
Submitted by David H.

Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
Submitted by Chris F.

Born again Hindi.

Virginity is curable.
Submitted by Vern R.

Organized people are just to lazy to look for things.
Submitted by Lowell

A penny saved is ridiculous.

Eat right. Exercise. Die anyway.
Submitted by Nancy

Help, I'm being followed by paranoids!
Submitted by J.D.

I think the aliens forgot to remove your anal probe.

Don't you have to go feed your flying monkeys?

I don't do perky.

I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I just can't get my head that far up my ass.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

I'm not speeding. I'm just qualifying.
Submitted by Doug J.

I had a good wife once. Then she went home to her husband.
Submitted by Ed

Too bad stupidity isn't painful.
Submitted by Daniel F.

I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Submitted by M.J.

Watch out for the idiot behind me.

I'm in my own little world, but that's O.K. They know me here.

Heck is where people go that don't believe in gosh.

I don't repeat gossip, so listen carefully.

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